Upon analysing "the black walnut tree" written by Mary Oliver, I found it to be about a struggle between financial burden verses family heritage. It is a well written poem, and when you read between the lines you find a mother and a daughter trying to come to a decision about this tree, whether to keep it, and honor the father, or to rid the tree and their financial troubles.
In lines one through five of the poem, the author illustrates the beginning of the debate. The mortgage would be paid off if they had a lumberjack bring down the tree. The tone is serious, you can tell by the way the author begins the first line so directly and matter of fact, "my mother and I debated"
Lines six through twelve the author uses imagery to give the reader a clear picture of the tree, and more reasons to rid of the tree. Such as, it's roots growing into the cellar and it's heavy leaves. I feel she painted a dark picture of the tree.
The following line is the turning point in the poem, also where we find the conflict. "something brighter that money" (line 13-line14) In my mind, when i read this line someone turned on the sun. The author goes on to talk about the father and blue fields and starts to incorporate color into the poem, lightening the mood. This is where their family heritage means more to them than money.
For these reasons, the family is struggling in their decision to keep the tree. The tree must have meant something more to the father, and in turn means more to them, than ridding their financial burden.
You did really good. All the elements were in the rhetorical order. In overall I give you a 4 out of 5.
ReplyDeleteOverall, your weakspot with this essay was the organization/evidence component. An analysis piece is less on what the piece means, and more your interpretation of the words on the page. From the opening two lines, I can see some analysis present; however, the remainder of the essay discussed the words on the paper and not the elements which led to you identifying the financial struggle.
ReplyDeleteAlso, double check the way you used your quotes. Make sure your citation is correct, you have explained the quote, and that you have linked the quote back to the initial material.
This essay was a decent rough draft, and I can see real progress in your style thus far. With these suggestions, you will have a much stronger essay. My grading breakdown is below:
Critical Thinking: 2 Your thesis is a synopsis of the poem and does not identify what topics you will address in the essay below. I can tell that you understand the purpose of the poem; however, the assignment is a response/analysis essay and not a synopsis.
Organization: 4 A clear 5 paragraph essay/easily organized format, with specific evidence and support. Thesis statement identifies what will be discussed in the sections below. However, transition sentences are lacking.
Evidence: 2 While the support is there, the citations are not marked correctly, they are not linking back or explaining purpose in the context of the essay.
Language: 4 Easily understood language and variation in structure. First person usage and could use additional creativity in rhetorical devices.
Grammar: 4 A few grammatical errors; however, they do not overly detract from the piece.