Upon analyzing "the black walnut tree" written by Mary Oliver, I found
it to be about a struggle between financial burden verses family
heritage. It is a well written poem, and when you read between the lines
you find a mother and a daughter trying to come to a decision about
this tree, whether to keep it, and honor the father, or to rid the tree
and their financial troubles. I feel the poem is well written, with a good use of imagery, and the use of line splitting to add emphasis throughout the poem.
The author illustrates the
beginning of the debate (oliver, line 1-5), the mortgage would be paid off if they had a
lumberjack bring down the tree. The tone is serious, you can tell by the
way the author begins the first line so directly and matter of fact,
"my mother and I debated"(Oliver line 1). The end of the line creates the tone.
The author uses imagery to give the reader
a clear picture of the tree, and more reasons to rid of the tree. Such
as, "it's roots growing into the cellar" and "it's heavy leaves"(Oliver, line12-14). I feel she
painted a dark picture of the tree. This dark imagery shows the reader the one side of the struggle.
The following line is the turning point in the poem, also where we
find the conflict. "something brighter that money" (Oliver, line 18-line19) In
my mind, when I read this line someone turned on the sun. The author
goes on to talk about the father and blue fields and starts to
incorporate color into the poem, lightening the mood. This is where
their family heritage means more to them than money.
For these reasons, the morgage and the spirit of the father, the family is struggling in their decision to
keep the tree. The tree must have meant something more to the father,
and in turn means more to them, than ridding their financial burden.
Brittany after reading your revised essay numerous times,the following is my critique and why. Global concerns: I found the thesis clear and well stated with well developed insight. Organization logical, well structure with good use of topic sentences throughout the paragraphs. Your sentences transition smoothly, with fully developed ideas, supported with ample evidence. Local concern: There were some grammar issues and maybe over use of commas, but didn"t take away from the meaning. C. thinking= 5, original thesis with developed thoughts. Organization=5, thesis and supporting evidence presented clearly. Evidence=4, evidence effective in telling of the story and sources are cited. Language=4, your voice is clearly heard. Mechanics=3, contains some grammatical errors, spelling maybe over use of commas, but didn't take away from the story.
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